Social Media that doesn't shrink your soul?

Virtues are moral muscles that, like our physical muscles, are either strengthened or given to atrophy every single day.

Thousands of small daily thoughts, actions, and reactions become ingrained habits which mold us into who we are becoming.

When we exercise temperance, our moral no-muscle, on small things like passing on dessert, skipping meat on Fridays, or leaving the phone turned off for an hour around dinner time, we’re actually strengthening our ability to say no when it matters most.

When we exercise courage, our moral yes-muscle, by saying yes to a neighbor in need despite the inconvenience, or when we read stories of those who say yes even when it is unpopular or dangerous to do so, we are actually strengthening our own ability to say yes when it matters most.

This is how moral formation works, and we ignore the virtues to our collective peril.

So what does this have to do with social media?

Social media provides countless opportunities for thoughts, actions, and reactions each and every day and night.

We wake up, check our notifications, and put down the phone.

Then we pick it up again on our way to the restroom.

We scroll, we laugh, we get mad, we become jealous, we laugh again.

Then we walk to the kitchen and put down the phone to make a cup of coffee.

Then we stand at the counter, though we meant to sit down at the desk to say morning prayer or read a good book, and scroll some more.

We are moved to compassion and then enjoy perhaps another laugh or two.

We find out that other people we know have been enjoying time together without us.

A split second later, we see an advertisement for Airbnb or an AeroPress or new hiking poles or anything that might fill the void left by our fear of missing out.

Hundreds of thoughts, actions, and reactions all occurred in the first 10 minutes of our day.

These micro-moments are not neutral.

They are forming our moral muscles.

The sheer number of these occurring in such a short span of time means that we are almost always unaware of the formative effect they are having on our souls.

Social media is a form of the unexamined life Socrates warned us about.

But does it have to be so?

Are the current popular iterations of social media, which I’ll refer to as big social, our only option for consuming information, connecting with friends and strangers, and developing bonds across borders and oceans?

In other words, is there a social media alternative to big social that doesn’t shrink our souls?

I think there might be, but to understand why these alternatives are better for us, there are some important things to know about how big social works.

There has almost always been social media.

Letter writing dates back to the ancient world.

The monthly newspaper has almost always had a letter to the editor session.

So what is different now?

In short, what makes big social different can be boiled down to the feed, the follower count, and the feedback button.

Big social began with a simple chronological feed.

You would choose who to follow, and their posts were presented to you in chronological order.

Eventually, big social companies introduced advertisements into the feed, and then the real change came, the algorithm.

Others have explained it better than I can, why this is important, but I will just say this, it’s not great.

The end result of the modern big social algorithm is billions of users being shown what the highest bidder wants them to be shown exactly when the highest bidder wants it to be shown.

The rest of what you see is dictated by the big social network itself, based on what will keep you engaged the longest.

The longer you are scrolling, the higher the bids will be.

In practice, this means that a link to a slow news analysis of a major world event that takes you away from big social will have a far lower priority on your feed than a soundbite from the politician you love to hate.

The follower count is a less technical but equally corrosive aspect of big social.

The public display of followers and follower ratios feeds both our inferiority complex and our tendencies towards narcissism.

It dictates what we post and when.

It creates artificial authorities and experts who haven’t earned the title.

The final downfall of big social is the feedback button.

We are encouraged, even begged, to give instant feedback the moment we encounter a post.

No time to process what we have seen or consider what our reaction ought to be.

No requirement to act on what we’ve encountered in any meaningful way.

We are simply asked to publish our unexamined gut reaction for the world to see.

Even after exploring these things myself over the past several years and knowing that there are even more documented dangers to participating in big social, I find myself still missing much of what it offers.

Your mileage may vary, but at least for me, it became increasingly clear that my participation in big social was doing more harm than good when it came to my own formation.

So, is there a media alternative to big social media that doesn’t shrink our souls?

Maybe.

After spending nearly four years searching, here’s where I have landed.

Consider these three as potentially viable alternatives to big social.

First, the good old-fashioned text group.

I’ve found the text group to be a meaningful way to connect with friends around common interests that range from home repair and Tottenham Hotspur rumors to prayer requests and Anglo-Catholic memes.

If I just read an article that I want to share with a group of peers for their feedback, now I just text it to them.

Number two, the email newsletter.

I think of my own personal newsletter as a slower but still social media.

I use it very occasionally to send interesting articles, share early versions of drafts I’m working on, or share the occasional personal update.

Based on email responses I occasionally receive, the people who subscribe include mostly friends from over the years, some colleagues, and my grandmother.

I purposefully use a newsletter service that allows me to turn off analytics.

I’d be lying if I said that I don’t care who opens, reads, and enjoys each edition, but it is true that I don’t want to care.

So I’ve taken steps to help shape my gut desires to be in line with what I truly want.

And finally, micro.blog.

Without framing it in terms of virtue ethics, the folks at micro.blog are trying to reverse the drawbacks of the big social feed, the follower count, and the feedback button.

There are no follower counts on micro.blog.

You can’t find out who follows you and who doesn’t.

There are no like or repost buttons.

You can reply or you can privately favorite a post, which simply saves that post for your own records.

You can sign up for a free account if you already have a blog hosted, or you can pay a small fee to let them handle all of the technical work.

There’s a learning curve and a cost to entry, but many have found those to be features, not bugs.

Will any of this replace what you find on big social?

No.

But that’s the point.

If you delete your big social accounts and make the switch, you will miss big social for a time.

Rehabilitation is not easy, and it is not for the faint of heart.

But a slightly more examined life is certainly worth it in the end.